Joke 1: Sanctity of Marriage

Jack and Sarah are engaged and shopping for their marital bed. They know mostly what kind of mattress they are searching for but they also know that on their current mattress, when they have relations, Jack has a tendency to fall off of the edge of the bed.

They know the measurement of the Side (s) that they like and also how Elevated the mattress should be off the ground (e). Since the other measurement they need to have to find the perfect mattress is a variable, they are calling it (x).

The volume of their perfect bed for intercourse is (s)(e)(x)! Hahahaha.

When they got to the mattress store they realized that mattresses traditionally only come in a few set sizes and since Jack is on the verge of losing his job they cannot really afford to customize. They settle for a queen size even though they can afford larger because Sarah has a lingering softball injury and prefers to sleep on a pillow-top mattress. It is still larger than the double they previously used but Jack's problem continues and Sarah becomes more aware of his inadequacy in other areas. She breaks off the engagement and in the resulting property dispute, gets to keep the mattress. Three years later, Sarah has gone on a few dates with some men but has come to the conclusion that she will never feel fulfilled.